2 hits

so.. here i am. 2:20 in the morning bc i decided to be bad again and pop 2 ecstasy EVEN THOUGH i was just straight tripping out for 21 hours yesterday. so what the makes me tonight? no so sure. i dont think it matters. i makes me happy. all i want to do is smile, giggle, dance, and twirl around glow sticks. thats not harmful. yeah, i get that i am numbing my "pain". although, i would agree that i am numbing my issues. bc who would want to feel shitty in some sense and not want to feel happy. this does have to end though. im out of pills now so i am done. they were supposed to be saved for the country fair. just like the bag of molly roomate has/had. most of it will be gone tonight. its all good. we'll find more. right now, im feeling pretty damn fucked up. i felt great from the first hit, it hits hard. but it doesnt last all that long. so i popped another. now im just totally trippin. gotta keep trying to refocus looking at the screen. i should go to bed. i have work at 9 and really should go in early. but i dont want to kill the good feeling by going to bed and in a sense, wasting it. thats how i feel at least. stay up for a bit more. its 2:25 now. see.. it took me 5 minutes to type that and noramlly that would take me about 2 minutes if i had to think hard about something. now i just keep losing track. haha. leave it up to me. doug benson. super high me. watch it. hilarious. on the tv now. he is damn good. seeing him live was soo much better. he was high as fuck. thank god i was too. made it even better. one of the most fun things i have done. first comedy show ever. will definately not be the last. clenching my jaw soooo bad. i hate that!!!! the only bad thing about that drug though. keep trying to remember and catch myself doing it so that it doesnt get worse. so annoying, especially since i hate gum with a passion. and that is what makes you stop clenching. chewing gum makes me gag. i think its from the saliva that massively builds up in your mouth. how digusting. who came up with gum? fucking stupid idea. in my view.