psychooo

just got out of the psychiatric hospital yesterday. it felt so great to be out of there and free and able to smoke cigarettes and breathe the fresh air and do anything i wanted to do. today it hit me. its strange being back into the real world and have reality thrown at you when you spent 5 days in a place where all your needs (for the most part) are met and all there is are people to help you. in one sense, who would ever want to leave that? yeah its a fucking mental hospital. its not quite the stigma you want. it is what it is. but is it really what it is? i tried to kill myself. what? i tried to kill myself? while i was in the hospital, the head nurse called poison control to see if what i took was lethal? that it was. i should have died. i could have, more than easily, died. did i want that? maybe. but i called for help.